Twenty-seven years old. I think I can officially say I am squarely in my late twenties. At 26, I felt like I could get away with saying I was in my mid-twenties, but I don’t think this is true anymore and I’m okay with that.
To be honest, I struggled with the idea of being in my late twenties (and yes, I know it sounds rather silly to be saying this, but just read a little bit further on). I struggled because I felt that by this point, I should have done so much more with my life. I felt like my resumé should look more impressive than it does. I felt I should have a clear understanding of what my career would be, the direction of my next steps, and overall clarity for “my life.”**
My life being the next 50 or so years… which I came to realize was pretty ridiculous to think that I would have all of that life planned out by now, when my plans and path have switched at least 10 times in the last two years. So I’m not sure why I thought I would have it all figured out only at 27.
But I did! I had been buying into the weird social expectation and pressure that I should** be more settled by now, I should want kids (which FYI I do, but don’t appreciate the expectation that I should), I should have an idea of what I’ll be doing from here on out and altogether should just be more “with it.”
I partially bought into the expectation because of pressure, social and internal, which stemmed from comparing myself to the successful people I was seeing. The people who either started their careers at a much younger age (ie celebrity kids, or straight out of high school or college), or people who are in fact older than I am (ie late 30s and up). I was comparing myself, which in itself is never a good idea, to people who weren’t even in the same camp as me.
I needed to remember everyone has their own journey; everyone discovers passions and giftings at different stages; and that the next step I set out on now doesn’t have to be the one I’m on forever. Rather than hoping and wishing that 27 would bring with it the conclusion to what my life will be about, I can look at 27 as the next step on an exciting discovery for what my life can be about.
This, more than the logic I had laid myself out before, was what made me realize that believing I needed to have it all together and figured out by my late twenties, was nonsense. To be fair, I don’t know if there will be a point in my life where I will ever have it all figured out. I think that’s just how life works. It’s too unpredictable for such closure. And while there’s fear of the unknown, fear of feeling behind and not pursuing my full potential, there’s excitement for all that is to come, the adventures and discoveries, and lots of gratitude for everything that has happened.
Because a lot has happened over the last 27 years, and even in the last year from being in my “mid-twenties” to my late twenties, and I’m still learning how to pause and celebrate all the things. From starting a blog; to developing more confidence in myself, my style and my writing; to leaving a job to pursue a passion project; to returning to an old job; to realizing what mattered most for the eternal haul; to pursuing deeper friendships; to intentionally choosing to be rather than do; to the general ups and downs of learning how God has created me and is challenging and encouraging me in this life. I ought to be (and am) immensely grateful for it all, and excited for what those foundational experiences are leading up to in the years to come.
So here’s to 27, learning to embrace starting my late twenties with excitement rather than apprehension and anxiety, and gratitude, rather than impatience and dissatisfaction.
**PS: I also have opinions on how we use the word should and think it doesn’t need to be used as often as we do use it. It often carries implications of shame if someone didn’t or did do something that they “should have” or “shouldn’t have.” Just had to throw that out there as a side note and another reason for why this mentality I was holding onto was extra challenging and brought about more shame.
